It has been said that we are our own harshest critic. Truer words have never been said.
We are taught from an early age that to be selfless is a virtue. Instinctively we become the nurturers of our relationships. Sometimes we do this to the extent of squashing down our own needs and feelings. Feeling that somehow it is the *right* thing to do. That our needs must not be as important in a relationship. Our intentions are good, we think we are doing what is necessary to protect the relationship, but the long term emotional and energetic damage that we do to ourselves by suppressing our own needs and feelings, somehow never gets us what we want. What we really want....We end up settling and wondering why we aren't happy. How can this be? We have sacrificed so much and tried so hard.....
My observation for today is that it is crucial for us not to just settle. It is ok to have feelings, and to express them in a healthy way. It's not only ok, but it's important. When we settle, we are silently treating ourselves as if we aren't good enough to have more. As if, we don't deserve more. Our very acts of sacrifice end up being the blocks to our happiness..We need to change that!
So my observation for you today, is to know the difference between compromising and settling. Compromising means everyone gives a bit so that everyone can be happier. Settling is giving it away-ignoring your own needs and emotions....
Settling keeps you occupied so that you no longer have the time or energy, to find what it is you really wanted in the first place. Your first steps are to remember that you deserve to be happy. Feeling and having needs, they are just basic parts of living and nothing to be ashamed of. They are proof that you are alive. So tune back into your own heart--ask yourself--in a relationship--or in life in general "is what I'm doing now making me happy?" and if it's not, start to find out what you need to do, to make that shift. But most of all, don't settle for what doesn't truly bring you happiness.
If you'd like a personalized look at your situation, please feel free to contact me for a session to identify the strengths and weakness in your own relationships so that you can become healthier, stronger, and happier!
Blessings, Karen Jo Knowingangel